Why I’ll Never Tell a Reflux Parent to “Just Wait It Out”

By Dr. Jennifer Harris

There is a phrase I hear far too often from parents of babies with reflux:

“They told me to just wait it out.”

Sometimes it comes with, “All babies spit up.”

Sometimes it’s, “Their digestive system is immature.”

Or simply, “They’ll grow out of it.”

And there is some truth buried in those statements. Reflux is incredibly common in infancy, and for many babies it does improve naturally as they grow.

But there is an important distinction:

A baby who spits up but is otherwise happy, comfortable, feeding well and growing appropriately is very different from a baby who is experiencing pain, struggling through feeds, waking repeatedly in discomfort or spending large portions of the day distressed.

Those babies deserve more than “wait it out, " and that is why you will never hear me use those words as a treatment plan.

Reflux Is Common. Significant Discomfort Shouldn't Be Dismissed as Normal.

Gastroesophageal reflux (GER) happens when stomach contents travel back into the esophagus. Because babies have immature digestive systems, consume an entirely liquid diet and spend much of their time lying down, some degree of reflux is extremely common.

Many babies are perfectly happy despite frequent spit-up. They feed willingly, grow appropriately and don't appear bothered by it. In those cases, reassurance and time may genuinely be appropriate.

But that is very different from the baby who:

• cries, arches or stiffens during or after feeds

• repeatedly pulls away from the breast or bottle

• gulps or repeatedly swallows as though something is coming back up

• becomes extremely distressed after eating

• seems particularly uncomfortable when lying flat

• coughs, gags or appears uncomfortable around feeds

• begins taking smaller amounts because feeding seems uncomfortable

• wakes frequently and appears to be in pain

• has persistent vomiting or regurgitation accompanied by distress

• simply seems uncomfortable for significant portions of the day

When reflux is associated with troublesome symptoms or complications, we may be dealing with gastroesophageal reflux disease (GERD), or there may be another condition contributing to the symptoms. That deserves a closer look.

“They'll Grow Out of It” Doesn't Help the Baby Who Is Hurting Today

One of my biggest problems with the phrase “wait it out” is that it focuses entirely on the future.

Maybe the reflux will improve at six months.

Maybe it will improve when the baby is sitting independently.

Maybe solids will change things.

And yes, for many babies reflux eventually improves considerably as their gastrointestinal system matures. But what happens between now and then? If a young baby is experiencing significant discomfort after every feed, telling their parents that things may improve several months from now doesn't address what that baby is experiencing today.

Infancy is short. But when you're caring for a baby who cries for hours, struggles through feeds and cannot seem to get comfortable, a few months can feel enormous.

As such, my goal isn't simply to get a family to the age when reflux statistically becomes less common. Rather, my goal is to ask:

Why is this baby uncomfortable, and is there something we can safely and appropriately do to help?

Treating Reflux Doesn't Automatically Mean Medication

I want to be very clear about this: believing that symptomatic reflux deserves attention does not mean I believe every baby who spits up should receive acid-suppressing medication.

They shouldn't.

Medication has a specific role in the management of infant GERD, and deciding whether it is appropriate requires looking at the individual baby and the symptoms we are trying to treat.

Sometimes reassurance and monitoring really are appropriate.

Sometimes feeding changes may help.

Sometimes we need to look at volumes, feeding patterns, positioning or thickening.

Sometimes symptoms suggest that allergy or intolerance may be contributing.

Sometimes the history tells us we need to investigate another possible cause altogether.

And sometimes medication is clinically appropriate.

The important thing is that treatment should be purposeful. We should know what we are treating, why we are treating it and what improvement we are looking for.

If We Use Medication, I Want to Use It Effectively

This is another area I feel strongly about.

When medication is appropriate for an infant with GERD, simply writing a prescription shouldn't be the end of the conversation. I believe treatment should reflect the best available research and current evidence about how these medications work and how they can be used most effectively. That means thinking carefully about the medication selected, the baby's current weight, how and when the medication is being administered, whether the treatment plan remains appropriate as the baby grows, and whether the symptoms we are trying to treat are actually responding.

Babies change incredibly quickly and a medication plan that was appropriate weeks ago may need to be reassessed as a baby gains weight or their symptoms evolve.

Additionally, the way certain reflux medications are administered can also influence how effectively they work. Parents deserve clear instructions and an understanding of what to expect—not simply a prescription and a direction to come back several months later.

If a medication doesn't appear to be helping, my response isn't automatically:

“Reflux medication doesn't work.”

Instead, I want to ask why:

• Was the medication appropriate for the symptoms in the first place?

• Is it being administered in a way that allows it to work effectively?

• Has the baby's weight changed significantly since it was prescribed?

• Has enough time been allowed to assess its effect?

• Are we treating acid-related discomfort when something else may actually be driving the symptoms?

• Has the baby's clinical picture changed?

These details matter.

Using medication responsibly doesn't mean using more medication. It means using medication thoughtfully, appropriately and according to the best evidence we have available.

If your baby has already been prescribed reflux medication but you're not seeing the improvement you expected, you can read more about some of the reasons this can happen in Why Isn't My Baby's Reflux Medication Working?

Reflux Isn't Always the Whole Story

Another problem with simply waiting is that symptoms attributed to “reflux” aren't always caused by reflux alone.

Crying, arching, vomiting, feeding difficulties, gas and unsettled behavior are symptoms. They aren't diagnoses. Depending on the baby's history and presentation, we may need to consider whether feeding mechanics, swallowing difficulties, allergies or intolerances, gastrointestinal problems, airway concerns or other factors are contributing.

This is why I spend so much time taking a detailed history.

• When did the symptoms begin?

• What happens during a feed?

• What happens afterward?

• Is the baby comfortable between feeds?

• How are they growing?

• Are there changes in their stools or skin?

• Do they cough, choke, gag or sound congested?

• Do symptoms seem worse at particular times?

• What treatments have already been tried?

• How were those treatments used?

• Did anything help—even temporarily?

There is rarely one single piece of information that tells the whole story. The pattern matters.

Why Early Relief Can Matter for Feeding, Too

There is also another reason I don't like ignoring significant discomfort around feeding:

Babies learn through repeated experiences.

If eating repeatedly causes pain, some babies begin changing the way they feed. They may pull away, take smaller amounts, become distressed when offered the breast or bottle, or begin feeding more readily when sleepy. In some cases, ongoing discomfort can contribute to feeding avoidance or even refusal.

Now, that doesn't mean every baby with reflux will develop a feeding aversion. Most won't. But it is another reason I believe persistent pain around feeding deserves attention rather than being dismissed simply because reflux commonly improves with age. Our aim should be to make feeding as comfortable and positive as possible while we address the underlying medical picture.

Parents Deserve to Be Taken Seriously

By the time many families reach me, they have spent weeks—or sometimes months—trying to explain that something doesn't seem right.

They know their baby.

They know when crying after every feed feels different from ordinary fussiness.

They know when their baby seems desperately hungry but repeatedly pulls away from the bottle or breast.

They know when their baby's discomfort is affecting feeding, sleep and everyday family life.

And yet many parents tell me they have begun questioning themselves.

Maybe I'm overreacting.

Maybe all babies do this.

Maybe I just need to cope with it.

When I created Crying, Colic & Beyond, one of my goals was to create a place where families could feel heard. That doesn't mean every symptom has a serious underlying cause. It doesn't mean every baby needs medication. It doesn't mean every baby needs testing. And it is true that sometimes, after carefully looking at the entire picture, reassurance really is the appropriate recommendation. BUT there is an enormous difference between informed reassurance after careful assessment and dismissal without investigation. Parents deserve the first.

Sometimes Time Is Part of the Treatment Plan

There are absolutely situations where monitoring and allowing time for maturation is medically appropriate.

I may tell a parent that I expect something to improve as their baby grows.

I may recommend watching a symptom rather than immediately intervening.

I may reassure a family that what they are seeing falls within the spectrum of normal infant reflux.

But if I do recommend waiting, I want parents to understand why we are waiting, what we are watching for and what would make us change course.

“Let's monitor this because your baby is comfortable, feeding well and growing appropriately” is very different from:

“Just wait it out.”

One is a clinical plan.

The other can feel like a closed door.

My Approach: Treat the Baby, Not Just the Word “Reflux”

When I meet a baby with suspected reflux or GERD, my goal isn't simply to decide whether they spit up enough to qualify for a particular label.

I want to understand their entire clinical picture:

• Their symptoms.

• Their feeding.

• Their growth.

• Their gastrointestinal history.

• Their sleep.

• Their behavior.

• What has already been tried.

• What medications they are taking and how those medications are being used.

• And, importantly, what their parents are seeing every day at home.

  
  

From there, we can make a plan based on that baby, rather than applying the same reflux advice to every family. Sometimes that plan involves reassurance. Sometimes it involves practical changes. Sometimes it means investigating another possible contributor. And sometimes it means using medication—and making sure that if we do, we are following current evidence to give that treatment the best chance of being effective.

You Are Allowed to Ask Why

If there is one thing I want parents reading this to take away, it is this:

You are allowed to ask why.

Why does my baby cry after every feed?

Why do they arch and pull away?

Why do they seem uncomfortable when reflux comes back up?

Why did a medication initially seem to help and then stop helping?

Why are we using this particular treatment?

How should this medication be given?

When should we reassess it?

What should improvement actually look like?

Those are reasonable questions. Sometimes the answer will be reflux and sometimes reflux will only be one piece of the puzzle. And, for other children, sometimes careful assessment will tell us that reassurance and time really are all that is needed.

Whatever the answer, I believe uncomfortable babies deserve thoughtful, evidence-based care—and their parents deserve something more useful than “just wait it out.”

Because yes, babies grow.

Yes, their gastrointestinal systems mature.

And yes, most infant reflux eventually improves.

But when a baby is struggling now, I believe our job is to ask whether there is something we can safely and appropriately do to make now better.

And that is why my patients will never hear me say:

“Just wait it out.”

Will My Baby Eventually Outgrow Reflux?

Yes—most infant reflux does improve with time as the gastrointestinal system matures. But “they'll grow out of it” and “there is nothing we can do to help them now” are not the same statement.

If your baby is comfortable, feeding well and growing appropriately, monitoring may be entirely appropriate. If reflux is causing significant pain, feeding difficulties, disrupted sleep or other concerning symptoms, I believe the better question is whether there are safe, evidence-based steps we can take to improve their comfort while they grow.

Need Help With Your Baby's Reflux?

At Crying, Colic & Beyond, I work with families whose babies are experiencing reflux, silent reflux, GERD, persistent discomfort and feeding-related symptoms.

During a Reflux & Colic consultation, we take a detailed look at your baby's symptoms, feeding patterns, growth, gastrointestinal history and previous treatments—including any reflux medications they are currently taking—to understand the bigger picture.

Where medication is appropriate, my approach is guided by current research and evidence, with careful consideration given to how that treatment is being used and whether it remains appropriate for your growing baby.

The goal isn't simply to tell you that your baby has reflux. It's to understand what's happening and create an individualized plan to help them feel better.

Learn more about our Reflux & Colic Consultation →

Dr. Jennifer Harris is a board-certified pediatrician and founder of Crying, Colic & Beyond. She has more than a decade of experience working with infants and children experiencing reflux, gastrointestinal symptoms and feeding difficulties.

This article is intended for general educational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Medication decisions and dosing should always be discussed with an appropriately qualified healthcare professional.