Why Does My Baby Cry, Arch or Pull Away During Feeding?

By Dr. Jennifer Harris

Your baby is hungry.

They eagerly latch onto the breast or bottle and begin to eat.

Then, sometimes only seconds or minutes later, everything changes.

They pull away. They arch their back. They cry. They turn their head. Maybe they take the nipple again because they're clearly still hungry—only to pull away and become upset all over again.

For parents, this pattern can be incredibly confusing.

If my baby is hungry, why won't they eat?

The answer isn't always straightforward.

Crying, arching and pulling away during feeds are behaviours, not diagnoses. They tell us that something about feeding isn't working comfortably for your baby, but they don't tell us the reason on their own.

Sometimes reflux or gastrointestinal discomfort is involved. Sometimes milk flow, swallowing, allergy-related symptoms or another feeding issue is contributing. And sometimes a baby who initially experienced pain during feeding begins to anticipate that experience, creating an increasingly complicated cycle of feeding refusal.

The important thing is to look beyond the behaviour and ask:

Why is feeding difficult for this baby?

Is it normal for babies to pull away during feeds?

Occasionally? Absolutely.

Babies stop and start feeds for all sorts of normal reasons. They may need to burp. They may become distracted. Milk may be flowing too quickly or too slowly. They may simply be full. As babies become more aware of the world around them, particularly after the newborn period, they may interrupt a perfectly comfortable feed because something across the room suddenly seems much more interesting.

So a baby pulling away once or twice doesn't necessarily indicate a problem.

What deserves more attention is a repeated pattern of feeding distress.

For example:

• Your baby appears hungry but repeatedly pulls away after beginning to eat

• Feeding frequently causes crying

• Your baby arches or stiffens during feeds

• They repeatedly latch and unlatch

• They seem desperate to eat but unable to continue comfortably

• They take increasingly smaller amounts

• Feeding is becoming progressively more difficult

• They feed substantially better when sleepy or asleep

• You need movement, distraction or other strategies to keep them eating

When several of these things are happening consistently, I want to understand what is driving the behaviour.

Why does my baby act hungry but then refuse the bottle or breast?

This is one of the most important distinctions for parents to understand:

Hunger and willingness to feed are not necessarily the same thing.

A baby can be hungry and still find feeding uncomfortable.

Imagine that every time you ate, something hurt. You would still experience hunger. You might eagerly begin eating because your body needs food. But once the discomfort started? You would want to stop.

Babies can experience the same conflict.

They may show strong hunger cues, eagerly accept milk and then abruptly pull away.

A few minutes later, they're still hungry, so they ask to eat again.

The parent offers again.

The baby tries again.

And the cycle repeats.

This can create a very characteristic pattern:

Hunger → feeding → discomfort → refusal → hunger → feeding again → discomfort again.

When I hear a parent describe this, I don't assume the baby simply isn't hungry enough.

I want to know what is making it difficult for them to continue eating.

Could reflux make my baby cry or arch during feeds?

It can.

For some babies with troublesome gastroesophageal reflux disease (GERD), feeding can be associated with discomfort. Parents may describe:

• Arching during or shortly after feeds

• Pulling away suddenly

• Crying after several minutes of eating

• Repeated swallowing or gulping

• Regurgitation or vomiting

• Difficulty settling after feeds

• Increasing feeding refusal

Some babies have significant visible spit-up.

Others may have relatively little.

However, arching or crying does not automatically mean reflux.

Reflux is very common in infancy, and many babies reflux without experiencing pain. Meanwhile, crying and arching can occur for many reasons. So rather than diagnosing GERD from one behaviour, we need to consider the entire clinical picture.

What if my baby doesn't spit up?

Parents are sometimes told:

“It can't be reflux because your baby doesn't spit up.”

But reflux doesn't always result in stomach contents coming out of the mouth.

Sometimes contents travel upward into the esophagus and are swallowed again. This is often described as silent reflux.

A baby can therefore experience reflux without being a frequent visible “spitter.”

At the same time, we shouldn't assume that every baby who cries during feeding but doesn't vomit has silent reflux.

The symptoms overlap with many other feeding and gastrointestinal problems.

The goal isn't to find a reflux label that fits.

It's to determine what's actually happening.

Could gas be causing the problem?

Gas is another explanation parents frequently hear.

Babies certainly swallow air while feeding, and trapped air can make some babies uncomfortable. You may notice your baby squirming, drawing their legs upward or appearing relieved after burping or passing gas. But “gas” can sometimes become another label that describes what we're observing without explaining the bigger picture.

If your baby is repeatedly swallowing large amounts of air, for example, I want to know why.

Are they struggling with the bottle flow?

Are they repeatedly breaking their seal?

Are they crying during feeds and therefore swallowing additional air?

Are they having difficulty coordinating sucking, swallowing and breathing?

In some situations, the gas may be part of the problem.

In others, it may be partly a consequence of a difficult feed.

Could the bottle nipple or milk flow be the problem?

Yes.

Milk flow matters.

If the flow is too fast, a baby may struggle to keep up.

You might see:

• Coughing

• Gulping

• Pulling away

• Milk leaking from the mouth

• Difficulty coordinating breathing

• Becoming overwhelmed shortly after the feed begins

But a flow that is too slow can also create problems.

A baby may become frustrated, tire during feeding or repeatedly pull away because they aren't getting milk efficiently.

Changing nipple flow isn't something that should be done automatically whenever a baby struggles. Instead, look at how your baby is managing the feed.

If you're concerned about swallowing or your baby frequently coughs, chokes or struggles to coordinate feeding, seek professional assessment rather than repeatedly changing nipple speeds on your own.

What about breastfeeding?

Similar behaviours can occur at the breast.

A baby may latch eagerly and then repeatedly pull away, cry or arch. Possible contributors can include milk flow, positioning, difficulty maintaining a latch, gastrointestinal discomfort, swallowing difficulties or other feeding issues.

A very forceful let-down can be difficult for some babies to manage, while other babies may become frustrated when milk transfer is slower.

If breastfeeding has suddenly become difficult, an appropriately qualified lactation professional can be an important part of the assessment. But again, we shouldn't assume that every breastfeeding problem is purely about latch or supply.If the baby appears to experience pain, has concerning respiratory or gastrointestinal symptoms, or is developing significant feeding refusal, the medical picture also deserves consideration.

Could cow's milk protein allergy cause feeding discomfort?

For some babies, cow's milk protein allergy (CMPA) or another food-related reaction may contribute to gastrointestinal symptoms and feeding discomfort.

Crying during feeds alone isn't enough to diagnose CMPA. Instead, we look at the broader clinical picture. Depending on the type of reaction, there may be additional symptoms involving:

• The gastrointestinal tract

• Stools

• Vomiting

• Skin

• Feeding

• Growth

• Other systems

Symptoms can overlap considerably with reflux, which is one reason parents sometimes find themselves moving between different formulas or diagnoses without feeling any closer to an answer. A careful history matters. Changing formulas repeatedly without a clear plan can also make it harder to understand what's helping and what isn't.

What if my baby coughs or chokes during feeds?

This deserves particular attention.

Occasional coughing can happen, especially if milk flows faster than expected.

But recurrent coughing, choking or difficulty coordinating feeding shouldn't simply be attributed to reflux or colic without further consideration.

Tell your baby's healthcare provider if you regularly notice:

• Coughing during feeds

• Choking

• Gagging

• Wet or gurgly sounds associated with feeding

• Significant congestion during or after feeds

• Difficulty coordinating sucking, swallowing and breathing

• Colour changes

• Breathing difficulty

• Recurrent respiratory illness

Depending on the baby's history and symptoms, a feeding or swallowing assessment may be appropriate.

Breathing difficulty or blue, grey or significant colour change requires urgent medical attention.

Why does my baby arch their back?

Back arching is commonly associated with reflux online, but it isn't specific enough to diagnose reflux by itself.

Babies may arch because they are:

• Uncomfortable

• Overwhelmed

• Trying to move away from the nipple

• Struggling with milk flow

• Experiencing gastrointestinal discomfort

• Tired or overstimulated

• Communicating that they want the feed to stop

The timing and context of the arching matter.

Does it happen only during feeds?

Immediately after?

Throughout the day?

Does your baby arch and eagerly return to eating, or are they actively trying to get away from the feeding experience?

Those details can help us understand what the behaviour might be communicating.

Could this be the beginning of feeding aversion?

Sometimes.

This is something I pay particular attention to when a baby repeatedly appears hungry but becomes distressed once feeding begins. Feeding aversion doesn't always start with complete bottle or breast refusal.

It can begin much more subtly.

A baby may initially:

Drink → experience discomfort → pull away.

The parent understandably re-offers because the baby has barely eaten.

The baby tries again because they're hungry.

The discomfort happens again.

Over repeated feeds, the baby begins learning that eating predicts an unpleasant experience. Eventually, they may start reacting before the discomfort even begins.

You may notice:

• Turning away when the bottle approaches

• Crying when placed into the feeding position

• Closing the mouth

• Pushing the nipple away

• Arching before drinking

• Only accepting feeds while distracted

• Feeding much better when drowsy or asleep

At this stage, there may be two issues to address:

What originally made feeding uncomfortable?

and

What has your baby now learned about feeding?

Treating one without considering the other can sometimes leave families wondering why feeding remains difficult.

What role does feeding pressure play?

When a baby isn't eating enough, parents become frightened. That's completely understandable. You know your baby needs nutrition, and perhaps you've been told they need to consume a certain number of ounces or millilitres.

So when they stop after a small amount, you offer again.

Then again.

Maybe you walk around.

Bounce them.

Distract them.

Follow their head with the nipple.

Wait five minutes and try once more.

None of this means you've done something wrong.

These strategies usually develop because parents are trying desperately to keep their baby fed. But if a baby is consistently communicating that they want to stop, repeated attempts to overcome that refusal can gradually add another layer of stress to feeding.

The baby may learn that subtle signals don't work, so their refusal becomes stronger.

This is why I want to address feeding difficulty before every feed becomes a battle.

Why will my baby eat when sleepy but not awake?

This is an important pattern.

Some babies who struggle significantly while awake will take surprisingly good feeds when drowsy or asleep. Parents understandably begin arranging feeds around naps because it may be the only reliable way to maintain intake.

Sleep feeding itself doesn't diagnose feeding aversion. But if your baby consistently needs to be sleepy or asleep in order to eat, we should ask why awake feeding has become so difficult.

The goal isn't simply to become better at dream feeding.

It's to understand what is preventing comfortable awake feeding.

If sleep feeds are currently maintaining your baby's nutrition or hydration, don't abruptly remove them based on general advice online. Significant feeding changes should be individualized to your baby's medical and nutritional needs.

My baby is already on reflux medication. Why are feeds still difficult?

Persistent feeding difficulty while taking reflux medication deserves reassessment rather than an automatic assumption that your baby simply needs more medication.

I would want to consider questions such as:

Is reflux actually the primary cause of the feeding difficulty?

Is the current treatment appropriate?

Does the medication dose need reviewing as the baby has grown?

Is it being administered effectively?

Would another treatment option be more appropriate?

Could allergy, swallowing difficulty or another condition be contributing?

Has the original discomfort improved, but feeding aversion developed in the meantime?

The goal isn't to give babies more medication. When medication is clinically indicated, the goal is to use it thoughtfully and effectively, with an appropriate medication, dose and administration plan, while continuing to assess whether we're treating the right problem.

Parents should discuss medication changes with their baby's prescribing clinician rather than adjusting reflux medications independently.

What if my baby is still gaining weight?

This is reassuring—but it doesn't necessarily mean feeding is going well. Some babies maintain adequate growth because their families are working extraordinarily hard to maintain their intake.

Parents may be:

• Offering bottles constantly

• Feeding throughout naps

• Dream feeding overnight

• Distracting during feeds

• Walking or bouncing while feeding

• Repeatedly re-offering after refusal

• Spending long periods trying to finish each bottle

The number on the scale doesn't show us what it took to achieve that intake. I want to know whether your baby is growing. But I also want to know:

Can they eat comfortably?

Can they eat while awake?

Do they willingly participate in feeding?

How stressful have feeds become for your family?

Those things matter too.

When should I speak to my baby's healthcare provider?

Persistent feeding distress deserves evaluation, particularly if the pattern is getting worse rather than better.

Speak with your baby's healthcare provider if:

• Your baby regularly cries or appears to experience pain while feeding

• Feeding refusal is increasing

• Intake has decreased substantially

• Your baby only reliably eats while asleep

• You are increasingly dependent on distraction or movement to complete feeds

• Your baby isn't gaining weight as expected

• Vomiting is persistent or concerning

• You suspect allergy-related symptoms

• Your baby regularly coughs, chokes or struggles during feeds

• Feeding has changed significantly from your baby's previous pattern

The aim isn't to diagnose your baby from one symptom.

It's to identify why feeding has become difficult.

When should I seek urgent medical attention?

Seek prompt medical care for concerning symptoms including:

• Difficulty breathing

• Blue, grey or unusually pale colour

• Significant choking or breathing difficulty during feeds

• Green or bile-stained vomiting

• Blood in vomit

• Repeated forceful or projectile vomiting

• Significant dehydration

• Marked lethargy or difficulty waking

• A baby who appears acutely unwell

If something about your baby's condition feels seriously wrong, seek medical assessment rather than assuming reflux, gas or colic is responsible.

Don't focus only on getting the bottle finished

When your baby isn't eating, it's incredibly difficult to think about anything other than intake.

You look at the remaining milk and think:

They need another two ounces.

But sometimes that focus can prevent us from seeing the bigger problem.

Instead of asking only:

“How can I get my baby to finish this feed?”

we also need to ask:

“Why does my baby keep telling me that feeding is difficult?”

Perhaps the answer is reflux.

Perhaps it's milk flow.

Perhaps allergy-related symptoms or gastrointestinal discomfort are contributing.

Perhaps swallowing needs assessment.

Perhaps a baby who originally experienced pain has now begun anticipating that pain and avoiding feeding.

Sometimes there is more than one answer. Crying, arching and pulling away are your baby's way of communicating.

The goal isn't simply to overcome those behaviours.

It's to understand what they're trying to tell us.

Need Help Understanding Why Your Baby Is Struggling With Feeds?

At Crying, Colic & Beyond, we work with babies experiencing reflux, gastrointestinal symptoms, feeding refusal and feeding aversion. Our telehealth consultations allow us to look closely at your baby's medical and feeding history, current symptoms, previous treatments and feeding behaviours rather than focusing on one symptom in isolation.

For some babies, the priority is identifying and appropriately treating an underlying medical contributor. For others, feeding behaviour itself also needs support. Often, we need to consider both.

Learn more about our Reflux & Colic and Feeding Difficulties consultations →

About Dr. Jennifer Harris

Dr. Jennifer Harris is a board-certified pediatrician with extensive experience working with infants and children experiencing reflux, gastrointestinal symptoms, feeding difficulties and feeding aversion.

Through Crying, Colic & Beyond, she works with families via telehealth using an individualized approach that considers the medical factors that may make feeding uncomfortable as well as the baby's developing relationship with feeding.

This article is intended for general educational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Feeding difficulties can have medical, nutritional and swallowing-related causes and should be appropriately evaluated. Always discuss concerns about your baby's health, growth, feeding or medication with an appropriately qualified healthcare professional.